Go Out and Get Yourself a Buddy

    Serendipity is a thing. It is a wonderous thing. I am convinced it is responsible for my meeting a spotty nosed, tiny pup that I did not know I needed in my life. 

    I was in a dark place. The new year had come and went. I was alone. I had my family and my care team, and they are important, but I had gone from believing I knew exactly what my life’s purpose was to not knowing much at all.  I was back where I grew up, a place I knew so well, but it felt so foreign. 

    I was just sitting on my bed when my mom texted me the picture of the little guy. He was the last of his litter. Alone like me. I missed my dogs. Our little Levon had stayed behind when my relationship failed, and we had lost sweet Madeline not long before to the rainbow bridge. I thought about those sweet babies every day. I wasn’t sure if I could open my heart to another pup, but what could it hurt to just go see him. 

    I found myself in a sketchy meetup in a Wal-Mart parking lot two towns away. Peering into a box in the back seat of a late 90’s model Pontiac that smelled of stale, old cigarettes, I saw my best friend for the first time. There was no way I was leaving without him. And so, Cooley the micro hound entered my life on four short little legs.

    I wasn’t looking for a pup. In truth, I was not sure I could even take care of the little one. The kidney disease made it hard enough to take care of myself. I was starting to feel a little better from recently starting dialysis, but could I be responsible for something so small and fragile? Well, he was coming home with me, so there was nothing for it but to be for it. 

    Here’s the thing, I needed him just like he needed me. I needed to go out and get myself a buddy. We all do. Having Cooley in my life gave me a reason to get up every day. It gave me a purpose. He helped me focus, to want to get stronger, to go outside. It was not long until we started our walks in the woods. Without my speckled buddy, I don’t know that I would have gotten out of bed. The sickness and depression were real, but having a buddy helped me do better. I went from doing dialysis seven times a week to four, just by trying. 

    I am not saying you necessarily need to run right out and get a puppy (although there are way worse ideas!). But I am saying that if you feel a bit lost, chronically sick, or alone maybe it is time to find a buddy. That buddy can come in many shapes. Maybe it is not a furry friend but instead volunteer work or learning to take care of houseplants or a small garden. Keep moving. Try your best every day. Learn a skill find a purpose. I know it can be scary but look around at those who don’t. You don’t have to be alone. You can live your life. 

And we get a chance to say before we ease away for all the love you’ve left behind; you can have mine. – Iron and Wine, “Call it Dreaming”